I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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