I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
