its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize