chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
