im drinking this country out of the recession.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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