Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
