I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
