Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I understand Curling. That high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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