That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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