So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
