This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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