im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
