The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
