We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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