Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
