the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
id be glad to
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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