I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize