The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
