sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
