yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
