kristin has been a bad kristin
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
