Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
