Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
