She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
