You really coming over, don't trick.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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