Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she peed on how many people?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you had me at cake vodka
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
