I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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