Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
