saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
