Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize