Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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