I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
