How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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