We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
