Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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