so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
