i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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