Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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