you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
