this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
