the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
