with your own penis?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
