Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
