We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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