Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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