Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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