There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
