Pappa wants mamma naked
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
