i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
