make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think your dad took our porno
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
