i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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