She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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