After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I could make wine with my vomit
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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