My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize