Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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