fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
