College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Be still, my beating vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
