I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
