anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
