Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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