dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
